What we must know to become happy

  There is a wonderful fable that tells of a young girl who is walking through a meadow when she sees a butterfly impaled upon a thorn. Very carefully she releases it and the butterfly starts to fly away. Then it comes back and changes into a beautiful good fairy. "For your kindness," she tells the little girl, "I will grant you your fondest wish." The little girl thinks for a moment and replies, "I want to be happy." The fairy leans toward her and whispers in her ear and then suddenly vanishes.

Knowing and Relating to Form Better Relationship

  There is no being or becoming without relationship. from the beginning, we grow to sense the need and import of relatedness. We human beings have the longest period of dependency among any living creature. At birth, in total helplessness, we engage in our first coupling, mother-child, and from that time on, the more sophisticated our lives become, the more interrelated we become. In a sense, we spend our entire existence weaving one relationship into another until we've created, like the web of a spider, a complete pattern.

  Our very survival seems to depend upon our relationships. In childhood, if we are denied loving encounters with human beings, we wither, fall into psychosis, idiocy, or die.As adults we continue to depend upon our interactions in togetherness for our greater joys and our most significant growth. We take this process for granted. It seems to be only in moments when we experience disconnection, times when we are severed from close relationship-either by death, divorce, or physical separations that tear our closeness apart and leave us alone-that is becomes apparent. It is strange, then, that even knowing of our desperate need for relating, we continue through much of our lives to engage in thoughtless, vacuous behavior which only results in isolating us further.

The Rings of Relationship

I would like to share you about the four rings in a relationship. Most are wearing rings in their finger, but there are some who do not, but these four rings affects the relationship. We have to understand and accept these rings because it is part of our life.

The First is Engagement Ring, it started when you put seal in your relationship and start committing yourself to each other.

Second is Wedding Ring, you let God to put seal in your relationship that only death can separate it.

Third is Suffering, the previous rings brings joy and inspiration, but this ring will not. This will bring difficult test to your relationship.

How Should We Listen?

The most important part of communication is listening. We should understand the presence of  our two ears and one mouth, we have to listen carefully. We have to yield, submit, and accept in the process of communicating. Do not insist on reason and ideas, because you will have the opposite which is resistance and refusal. Learn the different process of communicating, practice it and then carefully implement.

Here are some possible way to improve your listening skill;

1. Stay quite; while others are talking, listen carefully.
2. Nod or say yes; if you get it.
3. Smile, to show your appreciation.
4. Look at his eyes and not on anything else.
5. Reach out after your agreement.
6. Have some touch to let them feel your sympathy.
7. Recognize and appreciate for the information you have learn and earn.

Reinventing Relationship

The presence of different technology we have right now affect the way we relate to others.
The situation; the presence of cellphone, internet, and different gadgets had given us excuse to be related in person. The hectic schedule we have with business and object, replace the precious time that we must have with fellow. The monitor and camera had taken the part for us to be shown in person. Some of us are afraid or a shamed to show and express ourselves in person, while brave to type anything on keyboard and keypad. We are more comfortable to send email, chat, and text, than to say and express it in words and in actions.

The problem; the ties and bonds of relation slowly disbanded. The relationship in a family, relatives, clans, and friends continue to deteriorate. We have formulated different solutions, but not solutions to have better relationship. We have build buildings and houses, but not families with better relationship. We form union and organizations of people, but not intimate relation that will give respect to each other as a person. We accumulate and reach higher stages of learning, but we don't have closer relation and interaction with each other.