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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dos and Don'ts if you decide that casual sex after divorce is right for you.


1. Be honest. Explore your innermost reasons for wanting to engage in casual sex as well as what that means to you. You may prefer just a quick roll in the hay with no real conversation, or you may want a partner that spends time communicating with you about other mutual interests. Cuddling afterwards is optional.
2. Be straightforward. Show respect to your partner. You need to be confident enough to tell your partner exactly what you do and do not want in the relationship. Let it be known that either of you can terminate the relationship without explanation or hard feelings.
3. Be realistic. This relationship is temporary and it will end. Know that you have opted for this arrangement for pleasure. If feelings get in the way, you may need to look at yourself. This relationship will not likely grow into a long-term relationship.

4. Be safe. Even if you are just looking for casual sex, be aware that there are some real whack jobs out there. Do your homework if you met him online. Let a trusted friend know where you are and with whom. If the guy treats you badly or if you have any reservations at all, end the relationship immediately.
5. Be protected. Feel free to explore your wild sexual side, while protecting your health and well-being. Be prepared with condoms and use them, even if you have other means of birth control.
6. Don't get emotionally attached. Consistently remind yourself that this relationship is all about sex. It is not about love and it will never be. The happiness you feel is purely about physical pleasure, not about a personal connection.
7. Don't expect to be wined and dined. It is all about sex, it is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another on a deep emotional level. Do not call him and ask him for coffee or for long walks in the park.
8. Don't take him home. This is just not safe unless you have a very good idea of who the man is. You do not want to take the chance that the man will become a stalker after you have ended the relationship. You also do not want to take the chance of him meeting your children if they live with you.
9. Don't make it personal. When the relationship is over, know that it has fulfilled its purpose. There is no need to be sad or grieve. You have learned the lessons that it brought you while providing immense personal pleasure.
10. Don't have casual sex with your ex. Many women are tempted to jump into bed with their ex because they feel it is safe. This is the worst thing you can do. You have way too much personal attachment with your ex for it ever to be casual.

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